me as of july 21st, 2010

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

too many times I've been wrong, I guess being right takes too long

I feel like a bad friend and I know that I'm trying the best I can, but I feel like I'm never enough for certain people.
I feel like I'll never be enough and that my best won't ever be enough no matter how hard I try.

And I'm sorry. But then again, I'm not. I can't be what you want me to be in time or what you need me to be right away. Patience is key and maybe that's what you need. I'm not going to change my whole being just for you and I'm sorry for that, but am not as well.

If I'm not enough, then that's too bad. I don't know what more you want from me, but I know this...

I'm losing you and it's effortless.

Rest In Paradise

This week was a sad, sad week for the fashion industry and also for the Olympics.

First, the news came about around two-three days ago about Lee Alexander McQueen commiting suicide, and then it was confirmed that he was dead.



Alexander McQueen was, in my eyes, a legend in the fashion industry. They're assuming that he took his own life because he was having a hard time dealing with the death of his mother, which happened about a week before his own death.




Alexander McQueen was an extraordinary designer who thought outside of the box and broke all the 'rules' of fashion. Hiring disabled, large and unusual models for his runway shows, designing over the top clothes with basically perfect tailoring and having the signature skull print on scarves and such, Alexander McQueen definitely made his mark in fashion.

Rest in paradise, Alexander McQueen.

-

Tragic event after tragic event. Vancouver's 2010 Winter Olympics opened yesterday, but Nordar Kumaritashvili died in a luge accident while practicing for the Olympic Winter Games. If any of you have seen the video, it honestly made me turn away and tear up. It's so hard to watch. Nordar was so young and now he can't live his dream, or even compete in the Olympics.

Rest in peace, Nordar.

Love.

" Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect her to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans.

But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love.

It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it. Love isn't her calming you down when you yell. It's her yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.

It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet her showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not her saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not her caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be alright. It's her standing there, admitting she's just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into a million pieces. Or forget I ever handed it to you in the first place, just as long as you have it.

It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole. "

- Andrew Landon

live and breath everyday.

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind & confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.

infinite silence.

but i guess things change
it's funny how someone else's success brings pain.

life

is hard. Oh well.

You deal with it.